WUNDERBAR

Lately, I have been waking up in the most god-awful moods. It's frustrating because when I wake up a "grumpy granny", it usually portrays the way the rest of my day will develop. 

Luckily, today I broke the curse! I woke up to a bang on my door, my heart instantly wanted to explode. No coffee left in the house and I'm out of smokes, Wunderbar! 

I get in the car with my family for the long trek to my Granny's house. I'm sitting there mumbling curse words under my breath like I was a preteen. My mom looks at me in the rearview mirror and says, "this song's for you grumpy gills.." and puts on "I'm your boogeyman" by KC & The Sunshine Band. I was clenching my lips together, trying to hold back a smile (because there is so much pride behind a bad day. you secretly never want to turn it around, you wanna sulk and sulk and pull a poor me over and over again. Or is that just me...?) After I heard the trumpets raging in that "wunderbar" song my feet started to tap and the whole car broke out into a "Brady Bunch" family sing/dance off in the car. Who knew all my problems would be fixed with the music of KC & The Sunshine Band?! Great drive. Great day. Happy Birthday Granny!

 

I was looking through all of my old photos and found some kick ass ones! 

These are a few of my favorite things/pics!:

1)My family

2)"Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are, I couldn't help it, it's all your fault."

3) When I think about you, I...

4) The sun's not yellow, it's chicken.

5) Wunderbar!

6) In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night I call your name..Ohhhh Yoko, John, and Andy! Ohhhh Yoko, John, and Andy! My love will turn you (guys) on!

7) Torrey?! A Model?! Syke!

8) What an angel..

"Wunderbar" "Wonderful"

And that is exactly how I feel.

-NoTorreyOus

Music Is A Force Of Nature

I truly am happy! Yes, yes, I know my last post was quite harsh to the opposite sex but it is a necessity to over exaggerate on occasion. My relationship towards "penis-wearing faggots" as I called them is a love/hate relationship; and usually when it's towards the "hate" side, I am using a defense mechanism to refrain from being punched in the heart and occasionally my gaslopous.

Everything is clearer in hindsight, I guess..




















Yes, everything is clear now. I always assume that people are lying to me. When you said you needed time I wanted to know what her name was. Little did I know that I was a complete arse who didn't see your genuine heart. I see it now! You are beautiful. Oh, and I love you.
























I went for a cup of mediocre coffee and a half empty (full?! ) pack of smokes today with one of my dearest friends. We discussed the difference between love and lust (because we both have experienced the two polar opposite relationships). Polar opposites, yes, but there is a shady, shady gray where the mind can be fooled. Don't let your heart be fooled!

Lust is selfish. It is only wanting to take without giving. Be careful with this, you can end up looking like a cunt if you lust to hard.

Love, yet dangerous, is fucking epic! Love is selfless. Loving can only be completed when it is mutual. Loving another means wanting the best for the other, even if that means it is not with you. It is a teeter totter that needs to be balanced. Putting the other (and their needs) first is quite important. (But only if it is returned, you don't want to be a fucking doormat little bitch!) Equally caring, equally sharing is love!



















Yes, you heard it right, I am happy. With that said, I am distracted by your temporary insanity. I don't blame you for creating a mock life to escape to. It's like a novel in your head that you cannot tell the difference between nonfiction and fiction.






















To me, you sound insane. It makes me cry hearing you speak of this world, but maybe I am not fortunate enough to be able to escape like you. To me, you are a genius. You are my best friend. I am miles and miles away from you yet every night you get to spend hanging out with me. I'm jealous, I want to hang out with you.

Being normal is comforting. I want you to be normal again because it brings me comfort.
As fucked up and selfish as that may be, I love you and want you to get better. I am exhausted and I am sure you are too.



This is my favorite artist who does all the work for Imaginary Foundation, and it is so radical! Yet, I cannot find out what his/her name is! If anyone knows it do tell because he/she is genius. This picture below will be my next tattoo (Without the quote underneath). I love the industrial/contemporary mixture he/she uses, it's dope! Lemme know if you like his/her work...

_NoTorreyOus

I wish I was four again...

I am preparing myself for my new life as a cynic. I feel it is more comforting to expect the worst than it would be to have hope.

Four more days till I see you again. Fuck you and your ginger-ness. You have made my winter cold as death. I feel, myself, like death. I wanted to be in love during winter, not constantly wondering. I just spent seventeen hours driving away from anything that has ever reminded me of you. New town, new faces, new places, new plates. Seventeen hours away from anything that reminded me of you, yet all I see is you. I see you in this new town, new places, and in the faces of strange old and young. You are the uncomfortable temperature around me. 

It's do or die when I fly home. I mean, fuck it, it truly couldn't get any worse that it already has become, right?

 

Closing chapters is so bittersweet. This is the shittiest chapter from the longest shittiest novel I have ever picked up. Let me put it down already! Give me a comedy or a tragic horror flick that does not star me as the main character. Let me watch someone else suffer for five minutes please, give me a break! I feel like my life is being projected at a sold out venue with me on the big screen butt ass naked while everyone watches me fuck up. This isn't a fucking show! This is my life! Let me direct and call the shots! My shots! 

First line of business as a new upcoming director, FUCK YOU! and fuck you, and fuck you too, and fuck you, you stupid ginger! And you, Uncle Sam, Fuck you! And fuck you, and you, and you, Well not you flannel boy, you can fuck me, but other than that you all can just go fuck yourselves! 

Please, just let me go, Mickey Mouse. I am tired of this ride and I just want to go home. A heart that loves with nothing in return is no heart at all. I am a free heart donor. Come one, come all who want some of this! Take chunks out of my soul, please I beg you. The faster it is gone, the faster I will no longer be able to comprehend the feeling of pain. This pain in my heart is like distant relatives who stay for a horrid week, but these distant Aunts, Uncles, Cousins are making themselves right at home. Get the fuck out of myself! 

I miss happiness. Happiness is being naive. I like naive. Pain allows me to know that I am still alive. I can feel. 

I think I prefer being naive than alive. Ignorance is bliss they always say! Who's they anyway? 

I wish I was four again..

I want my biggest problem to be that I shit my trousers, Now, I have shit in my trousers with bills to pay. Shitting myself is the least of my worries now. If a little bird were to come up to me in that playground sixteen years ago and told me what was to come in time, I would grab that shit out of my trousers and thrown it at every penis-wearing faggot out there. 

I SHIT ALL OVER YOU PENIS-WEARING FAGGOTS.

Except you, Dad, not you. 

-NoTorreyOus